At the height of last summer, when the heat had sufficiently deprived me of common sense, I had the opportunity to purchase my Triton at a very reasonable price. It was represented as a solid boat that only needed "cosmetic" work (I think we need a clarification of the word cosmetic). Although I was very familiar with boats, both power and sail, I had no experience whatsoever with the joys of ownership. I did, however, know that the job of restoring her would be formidable. So, I turned to friends for advice. Every one of them enthusiastically endorsed the proposition and offered to lend a hand in the work that followed. So I pillaged the coin collection in my couch and bought the boat. I had a full crew on the sail home from the Mississippi Gulf Coast and on the many lake cruises after that. The plan was to sail the boat until it got too cold and then start working. However, it never got too cold to sail and it wasn't until late February that I actually got started on the work.
On the Saturday work began my crew dwindled severely. The only one to show up was one scrawny weed of a guy that came only with the prospect of a free lunch and unlimited beer. This has been par for the course (with one exception). Each friend and would-be volunteer suddenly had full schedules. Peculiar, since these are the same people whose only use for calendars is to make sure they don't schedule conflicting parties.
This, of course, was to be expected. What I find interesting, however, is how everyone has turned into almighty gurus of marine restoration (regular Tim Lackeys we have here). The fact that the only work these guys have done on a boat has involved clearing out the ice chest doesn't inhibit the free advice. Where do these ideas come from? It always starts off with "You know what you should do" and ends with "it wouldn't be expensive at all" or "it'll be easy" or "it'll look GREAT!"
The strangest happened this weekend with a visit as final prep is starting to wrap up. In a span of about ten minutes, both my boat and I were assaulted with suggestions ranging from painting the boat all one color in nonskid, leaving off the bow and stern pulpits and life lines, using antifouling tape (huh?) instead of bottom paint, and spraying in the slip without respirators (apparently he did it and he's "not dead yet").
Perhaps it just as well these folks haven't shown up to do any real work.
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- Rough Carpentry Apprentice
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- Location: Brightwaters, N.Y.